Recently Added Quotes
So, here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it's Shark Week.
Liz: Kenneth, why did you bet that terrible hand?
Kenneth: Why? Because I believe life is for the living. I believe in taking risks and biting off more than you can chew. And also, people were yelling and I got confused about the rules.
Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets. That's a metaphor.
Amy: [in Farnsworth's body] Oh no! Can we switch back using four or more bodies?
Professor Farnsworth: [in Bender's body] I'm not sure. I'm afraid we need to use... MATH.
I hate these nerds. Just because I'm stupider than them they think they're smarter than me.
Fry: Fetal stem cells? Aren't those controversial?
Professor: In your time, yes, but nowadays—shut up! Besides, these are adult stem cells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stem cells.
Professor: Nothing is impossible! Not if you believe in it. That's what being a scientist is all about!
Cubert: No, that's what being a magical elf is all about!
Voice on T.V.: Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
Bender: Shut up and get to the point!
And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.
I finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends, it's things.
Showing 10 of 923 quotes.