Futurama Season 2 Episode 9: Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love

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First aired on Feb. 6, 2000

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When Dr. Zoidberg runs amok during the Decapodian mating season, Fry sets out to teach him how to woo a mate. Things backfire when Zoidberg's desired mate falls for Fry instead, and Zoidberg challenges Fry to a battle to the death.


Fry: Tell her she looks thin.
Zoidberg: You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?
Edna: Why yes! Thanks for noticing.
Zoidberg: [to Fry] Now what?
Fry: Ask her how her day was.
Zoidberg: Why would I want to know that?
Fry: You wouldn't. Ask anyway!

Fry: Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.
Zoidberg: [to Edna] I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. [to Fry] Fry, that doesn't make sense.
Edna: Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense. But okay.

Leela: Why is Zoidberg the only one still alone?
Bender: Because he's a loser, that's why. He's the lobster equivalent of Fry.
Fry: Hey, I can get any girl I want anytime I want! I'm just too busy.

Zoidberg: Now Fry, it's been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?
Fry: Fatal.
Zoidberg: [To Bender] Large bet on myself in round one.

This "love" intrigues me. Teach me to fake it.

Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me.

Ohhh, it's all so complicated, with the flowers, and the romance, and the lies upon lies!

Make up some feelings and tell her you have them.

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