The Simpsons Season 8 Episode 2: You Only Move Twice

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First aired on Nov. 3, 1996

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When Homer accepts a job offer, the Simpsons move to Cypress Creek, where everything seems too good to be true. Finally happy at his job, Homer fails to notice that his new boss is an evil megalomaniac bent on world domination.


Quotes:

What's wrong with this country!? Can't a man walk down the street without being offered a job?


Scorpio: Hey, before we continue our tour, would you mind hanging my coat up on the wall, please?
Homer: [looks around the room] Mmmhmm. Umuhh now, let's see now. Umm...
Scorpio: Ahaha. Relax, Homer, at Globex we don't believe in walls. In fact, I didn't even give you my coat! [wears the coat backwards]


Okay. Now, everyone take out your safety pencil and a circle of paper. This week, I hope we can finish our work on the letter "A".


Scorpio: Your job will be to manage and motivate them. Give 'em the benefit of your years of experience.
Homer: Don't worry, that won't take long.


Marge: Mr. Scorpio, this house is almost too good for us. I keep expecting to get the bum's rush.
Scorpio: We don't have bums in our town, Marge, and if we did they wouldn't rush. They'd be allowed to go at their own pace.


Homer: Wow, my boss!
Scorpio: Don't call me that word. I don't like things that elevate me about the other people. I'm just like you. Oh, sure, I come later in the day, I get paid a lot more and I take longer vacations, but I don't like the word "boss".


Apu: Hello. I am not interested in buying your house, but I would like to use your rest room, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner. Ha! Now you know how it feels!
Homer: Thank you. Come again.


I've dug myself into a happy little rut here and I'm not about to hoist myself out of it.


Marge: You took a new job in a strange town without discussing it with your family?
Homer: Of course not. I wouldn't do that! ... Why not?
Marge: We have roots here, Homer. We have friends and family and library cards... Bart's lawyer is here.


Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up two percent, and it's all because of my motivational techniques! Like donuts. And the possibility of more donuts to come.


Scorpio: Hey, Homer, what's your least favorite country, Italy or France?
Homer: France.
Scorpio: Nobody ever says Italy.


Scorpio: Ingenious, isn't it, Mr. Bont?
Mr. Bont: Scorpio, you're totally mad!
Scorpio: Heh, I wouldn't point fingers, you jerk!
Mr. Bont: So, do you expect me to talk?
Scorpio: I don't expect anything from you except to die and be a very cheap funeral.

Showing 12 quotes.