Ben Wyatt

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Quoted in: Parks and Recreation

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Quotes by Ben Wyatt

That was amazing. That was a flu-ridden Michael Jordan at the '97 NBC FInals. That was Kirk Gibson hobbling up to the plate and hitting a homer off of Dennis Eckersley. That was... that was Leslie Knope.


Tom: Watch the master work it, I am the Yoda of networking.
Ben: Well Yoda wouldn't actually need networking, his powers were more spiritual.
Tom: Shut up you nerd!


I don't get it. At all. It's kind of a small horse, I mean what am I missing? Am I crazy?


Tom: It's almost too easy.
Ben: I can hear you.
Tom: I know you can Ben, that's how easy it is.


I'm not afraid of cops. I have no reason to be I never break any laws, ever, because I'm deathly afraid of cops.


Senior citizens are basically the only people who vote in local elections. So if you want to win you gotta get the gray vote.


Ben: Hypothetical crisis: Leslie just tried to answer a question, but audibly farted and then threw up. Spin.
Chris: Leslie Knope is literally overflowing with ideas for this town. And speaking about methane, have you heard about her plan to limit greenhouse gas emissions?


Leslie: It is nice to see you again.
Ben: Are you talking to my butt?
Leslie: Yes.


They call me Devo because I can whip 'em good.


April: Are you busy? And writing Star Trek fan fiction doesn't count.
Ben: Haha. And I finished that last week.


Ben: What's your new company?
Tom: We specialize in making stacks on stacks on stacks on stacks.


Ben: I don't know if you knew this, but Leslie was born in Eagleton!
Leslie: Do not blame me for the sins of my mother!


I gotta give you credit. Your mission statement made sense and you didn't use one R. Kelly lyric.


The game is Settlers of Catan. The object is be the first to build a civilization on this fictional island.


Wanna stick around? I've got a bunch of Homeland episodes burning a hole in my DVR.


I love how independent my wife is, and for that reason, I will not let her speak! That came out wrong.


I hope that high school auditorium is big enough because I’m bringing 10,000 Maniacs.


Leslie: Will you go to the prom with me?
Ben: Why, I thought you’d never ask...because we’re 40.


I have been tense lately. Just thinking about the new Star Wars sequel. I’m worried they’ll rely too heavily on CGI and I’m carrying it all in my shoulders.


Andy: If you rearrange the letters of Peru you can spell Europe.
Ben: That's... that's not true.
Andy: Well, you have to rearrange them.


When I was 18, I ran for mayor of my small town and won. Little bit of anti-establishment voter rebellion I guess. Here's the thing, though, about 18-year-olds. They're idiots. So I pretty much ran the place into the ground and after two months got impeached. Worst part was my parents grounded me.


Ben: You need a ride back to the office?
Chris: No, no. I'm going to go for a light 15K. I missed yesterday.


Ben: Should we throw in some salads for a healthy option?
Tom: Wow, don't be such a Jerry, Ben.
Leslie: Yeah, Ben. These guys are cops. Not ballerinas.


Leslie: Calzones are like pizzas but they're harder to eat. They're dumb. And so was that idea.
Ben: Seriously?
Tom: This is embarrassing for you.

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