Tracy Jordan

13 quotes.

Quoted in: 30 Rock

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Quotes by Tracy Jordan: 30 Rock

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Tracy: I'm embarrassed to say I've missed the birth of both of my sons, for very legitimate reasons.
Dot Com: "Cooking a French bread pizza" and "forgot".


I've seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom! I once bit into a burrito and there was a child's shoe in it! I've seen a hooker eat a tire! A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s. The sewer people stole my skateboard! The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor - generally considered to be one of the worst Presidents of all time! I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo ... they were very drunk.


A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory.


What is this, Horseville? Because I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!


What everyone needs to do is calm down, take a deep breath, and prepare their bodies for the Thunderdome. That is the new law.


Tracy: Jenna, we're the most important people here, right?
Jenna: Well, of course, Tracy. We're actors. If we didn't exist how would people know who to vote for?


Black people, don't vote! Did you know that in the amount of time it takes to vote you could play three games of pool? Three! Now that's fresh.


I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.


Tracy: So what's your religion, Liz Lemon?
Liz: I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to.


Dress every day like you're going to get murdered in those clothes.


So, here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it's Shark Week.


Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets. That's a metaphor.

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