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Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
Colonel Sandurz: Lord Helmet!
Dark Helmet: What?
Colonel Sandurz: You’re needed on the bridge, sir!
Dark Helmet: Knock on my door! Knock next time!
Colonel Sandurz: Yes sir.
Dark Helmet: Did you see anything?
Colonel Sandurz: No sir. I didn’t see you playing with your dolls again.
Dark Helmet: Good!
Call me idiot, not you captain... I mean, you know what I mean.
Jason: Back in Jacksonville, I was in charge of a 60-person dance crew. Whenever we auditioned a new dancer, we would rate them in five categories: dancing ability, coolness, dopeness, freshness, and smart-brained. I would give you an eight in every category.
Tahani: Well, eight isn't bad, I suppose.
Jason: No, no, eight is the best! It was a scale of one to thirteen but eight is highest. The scale went up and then back down like a tent.
Eleanor: Who has four toothbrushes, like Bill Gates or something?
Store Employee: No, that's like, for a family.
Eleanor: Family? Like, a whole family and their toothbrushes all together? Two slots for the parent toothbrushes and two slots for their kids?
Store Employee: Yup.
Eleanor: So the parent toothbrushes can be close to the kid toothbrushes and watch over them and they can all talk about their toothbrush feelings and they can hold their little toothbrush hands when they're sad and make sure no harm ever comes to their little bristles?
Store Employee: Sure.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't think this can be solved with a book.
Okay, bud, whatever's going on right now, just shove your feelings way down deep, plaster on a fake smile, and pretend like you're having fun. Okay? Just like I used to do when someone started talking about their kids.
I think Tahani's just embarrassed I'm not some kind of scientist who forecloses on banks.
Parties are mere distractions from the relentlessness of entropy. We're all just corpses who haven't yet begun to decay.
Searching for meaning is philosophical suicide. How does anyone do anything when you understand the fleeting nature of existence?
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