Parks and Recreation Season 3 Episode 1: Go Big or Go Home

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First aired on Jan. 20, 2011

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Leslie and the Parks Department return to work after three months to discover that the budget crisis still looms. After unsuccessfully trying to have their budget restored by using Ann to charm Chris with a date, Leslie decides to make an all or nothing play by resurrecting the Pawnee Harvest Festival. Meanwhile, Ben restarts the youth basketball league and instates Ron and Andy to coach the only two teams. April returns from a vacation with a new boyfriend.


Quotes:

The bankrupt government of Pawnee has been shut down all summer so it's been three months of no work, no meetings, no memos, no late nights, nothing. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.


Well, I am not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye.


Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.


Haircuts, there are three acceptable haircuts: High and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. Are the scissors broken in your house, son?


I'd say my coaching style is centered around fundamentals, with an emphasis on fun. And a second emphasis on ... mental.


I've been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor. Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage. Poise. Property rights. Fish: for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.

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